Are You letting Painful Experiences Own You?
I’m at a point in my life where I value forgiveness and reconciliation, which often causes me to forgive swiftly before resentment sets in. These are values that I plan to uphold.
Despite my efforts to forgive quickly, I find myself reminiscing on my childhood and I’m reminded of how damaging and debilitating my upbringing was. There were plenty of good times but unfortunately the bad times scarred me to the core and present issues for me to this day.
I look at outspoken and outgoing young people and peers around me who had supportive environments that encouraged them to be their authentic selves and I admire them.
I remember what it was like living in a home where my opinion and input not only wasn’t encouraged… it didn’t exist. The child with no voice grew into a fragile woman who was ashamed of her voice and her ideas. I was always very timid and appeasing. I used to wish that I was more outgoing and sociable.
Though a great deal of people in my circle consider me to be very successful, I can’t lie, there are times when I ask myself, what if?
Sometimes I sit back and look at my life and think, I wonder where I‘d be if…
My mom wasn’t verbally and physically abusive or
I was celebrated more at home or
My family was well off and had money to invest in my future or
I didn’t struggle so much with low self-esteem, depression and anxiety or
I wasn’t always doubting myself
And the list goes on and on…
Have you ever looked at your life and thought “Damn, if XYZ didn’t happen to me, I wonder where I’d be?” or “ If I hadn’t ‘effed’ up XYZ, I wonder how my life would look?”....
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Contributed by: Terri Lomax
Photo Donation: Mochagirlspitstop.com