Feature Post by Kera Monet
Culture & Women in Society
So. I came across a post on Facebook earlier this morning that was all things misogynistic. The central theme of the post catered to the idea that Women are not capable of having multiple sex partners because of her innate emotional and mental strength, which over all implies that she is inherently weak, because she was born with a fucking vagina. The post also infers that not only is she incapable and inadequate of controlling her emotions, but she is nothing more than a vessel designed for and managed by a man. And here is my rebuttal.
The idea that women can't do the things men do because of the simple fact that we don't have a penis is not only archaic, and misogynistic but complete bullshit. It sounded dumb back then, and it's sounds even dumber now. We, as in humans both woman and man, are sexual beings. And because we are sexual beings we all exist within our own sexuality.
Sexuality is greatly misunderstood by both men and women. Most believe that sexuality is exclusive to who we choose to be sexually intimate with, and who we can be sexually attracted to. Which paints a very black and white picture. When in actuality, sexuality has a broader frame with very loose guidelines. Sexuality is ruled by the way we think, they way we speak, our views of ourselves and others, our emotional and mental character, our thoughts and experiences (both intimate and formal), and so much more. It is specific to the individual. So with that being said, to conclude that women can't behave in a sexual way that is "designed" for a man just seems ignorant to me. Behavior and gender are not mutually exclusive. You can have 5 sexual partners and still be a very mentally and emotionally healthy intelligent woman, and you can have 5 sexual partners and still be a very mentally and emotionally healthy intelligent man. Your assigned gender is not a dependent variable.
I think what the author of that post was trying to say was that a lot of people (both men and women) invite unnecessary turmoil into their lives by not being responsible. I will not deny that who you choose to become intimate with can affect your life energy. But that goes for all things in life. The people around you help define who you are. You are attracted to things that are more alike than unlike yourself. When you engage in a sexual relationship with someone (whether it's for a night, 3 months, or 10 years) and you are not emotionally and mentally mature enough to understand and overcome the intense dynamics of a sexual relationship, that's when you get into trouble. When you lay in bed with someone in hopes of filling a void, that's when you invite heartache and trauma.
When you compromise yourself worth, respect, and mental/emotional health, that is when you create a space for bad energy to prosper in your life. Simply being born and assigned female doesn't. I know plenty of women who are capable of managing their lives in all aspects, and plenty that are not. I know plenty of men who are capable of managing their lives in all aspects, and plenty that are not. Our role in sexual reproduction should not constitute our behavior and roles in society. It is not culture that defines us. It is we who defines culture. And this shit needs to change.
Contributed by: Kera Monet